Opie Long Tackles Stolen Walrus Penis, Rubio's 'Clown Shoes' on Latest Broadcast
Opie Long dissects a stolen walrus penis story and Senator Rubio's questionable footwear.
On the March 13th, 2026 broadcast of Opie Radio, host Opie Long launched into a typically sprawling monologue, touching on everything from the surprising longevity of acting careers to the questionable fashion choices of prominent politicians. The show, clocking in at a robust 81 minutes, found Opie Long grappling with the peculiar notion of a stolen walrus penis, a story he unearthed from the murky depths of the internet, before pivoting to an extended riff on Senator Marco Rubio's sartorial decisions. The evening's most bizarre tangent began with Opie Long detailing a purported incident involving a stolen walrus penis, a claim he presented with a mixture of incredulity and morbid fascination. While the specifics of the alleged theft remained hazy, Opie Long fixated on the sheer outlandishness of the item in question, at one point exclaiming, "I mean, a walrus dck? Who even steals that?" This surreal narrative served as a stark contrast to the more grounded, albeit still odd, discussion that followed. Shifting gears from marine mammal anatomy, Opie Long then turned his attention to a recent political event, specifically the fashion choices of Senator Marco Rubio. Opie Long spent a significant portion of the broadcast dissecting photographs of Rubio, zeroing in on what he perceived as ill-fitting footwear. "Look at these clown shoes," Opie Long declared, holding up an image for the audience to see, "seriously, who dresses this man? It's like he's auditioning for a circus." The host’s commentary on Rubio’s shoes was not merely observational; it was a full-throated critique, suggesting a deeper commentary on the senator’s perceived lack of gravitas. In a moment that underscored the interconnected nature of the Dabbleverse, Opie Long also played a clip from a past episode of Vince Russo's podcast, "The Wrestling Fan." In the played audio, Vince Russo was heard opining on a previous controversy involving Anthony Hopkins and his Oscar win for "The Father." Vince Russo had stated, "At 83, he wanted for the father. The father. Okay. He did a movie called The Father." While Opie Long seemed to find Vince Russo's recollection of the film title slightly off, he acknowledg